Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Slums of Dublin...Part17 (St.Teresa's Gardens.)
Ma, hey ma! Where’s me Man. United tracksuit, I need it for Nocter’s pub. Will ye shut bleedin’ up! I’m trying to rob some shillin’s out of the gas meter. Ah Jaysus ma, I have to meet Deco and his new mot Monica, and bring them to meet me mot Ger in Sherrifer. “That’s not that brazzer wan who was going round without a screed a clothes on in Croker was it?”… I meet Deco and the posh mot outside Nocters and bring them into the flats to meet Ger. Monica nearly wets herself with fear as we manouver through the burnt-out cars. A raspy voice calls out from the 2nd floor balcony of St. Theresa’s Gardens, “Douglas!, Portia!, Come in for yissaw bread and oxuuuuuu!” We arrive at Ger’s flat and I shout in the open letterbox, “Bridie! Get yer knickers on, I have company” …Ger arrives at the door bleedin’ scarleh. “This is me mate Deco and his mot Monica, Ye better get Bridie to put back in her false teeth and get out her best china cause Monica is as bleedin’ posh as they come”…Just then, Bridie arrives from the bedroom wearing a “Dublin 1 Kerry Nil” teeshirt (with no bra underneath)… “Jaysus Bridie! It fits ye like a bleedin’ glove!”… “Ma! Will ye get the china out of the cabinet for Monica!” sez Ger… “Wha! That stuck-up bitch can use a mug like the rest of us !”… “Ah jaysus! There’s no need for that now Mrs O’Kelly!” sez Deco. Out comes the Lyon’s tea and Marietta biscuits as we all try, (except Bridie) to make Monica feel more at ease… “Monica! I heard ye have a big bleedin’ job in the ‘Joy” sez Ger… “Well yes, but frankly, I’ve become disenchanted of late what with all the excess demands made of me from prisoners and screws alike. What I’d really like is a change of environment. I’m looking for a new challenge, a more rewarding career, something stimulating.” …. “Jaysus! I have just the job yer lookin’ for!” sez Ger. “Ye can work alongside me on the cash register at Penneys in Mary Street. It’s bleedin’ great and ye meet loads of other brazzers!” … “Yeah! And ye can rob a gansy load of socks for me so’s I can sell them in Moore street!” sez Deco… “Well, I’ll have to revamp my resume, and buy a new suit for the interview”, sez Monica… “Wha!, Interview!, Resume!, Are ye bleedin’ mad? Just flash yer diddies at Wacker the manager, and the jobs yours.