Slums of Dublin...Part15 (Mountjoy Jail.)

"Ma!, hey ma, where’s me sodality suit and pioneer badge, I need to look respectable cause I have to go and sign Decco out of the `Joy today. His 6months sentence is up"...."Will ye shut bleedin` up, I`m tryin` to wash yer oulads` jocks in the sink, and don`t be hangin` round with the Decco bollix, ye know he`s a robbin` fecker. Sure didn’t the Mex Garage have to get all their locks changed after the last time he stole all the tires for the Halloween bonfire!"....I arrive at Mountjoy prison to be met by Decco`s probation officer... a bleedin` posh lookin` mot called Monica (You know who I mean). She looked like one of those posh oulwans that sell perfume in Brown Thomas or Switzers (I apologize for goin` south of the Liffey), and wore an Aer Lingus hostess lookalike suit and a pair of Pretty Polly tights. "Well Well, my dear young man, you`re here to pick up Declan, the poor unfortunate wretch, he`s just a revolving door in this unscrupulous penal system of ours" ......"Wha!"....."And I suppose you`re from East Wall as well, that god-forsaken wasteland that produces a myriad of fodder for the Irish legal system to embark upon an odyssey of never ending cases of misspent delinquent youth!"....."Wha!"...."Your just a product of the slums of Dublin, whose life is foreshadowed by degradation and despair"...."Wha!"...."A miserable existence, tempered with a hankering for the civilized lifestyle south of the Liffey!"....."Wha!"...."Perchance, doth thou dream of the fairer sex, and would that thou partake in a farcical romp, and hey noddy noddy!"....."For Jaysus sake, will ye speak bleedin` English!"......."Well, you know, I`ve been observing your masculine torso, and...well...a f**k it, I`ve got the bleedin` hots for ye, and I`d love a bleedin` ride off ye!"...."Now yer bleedin` speakin` my language. Here, get that bleedin` Aer Lingus suit off!"....She proceeds to reef me by the hair and pull my head down into the "netherworld..."Jaysus, I luv bleedin` talkin` dirty. Any chance ye can bring me on a date to Noctors pub in Sherrifer some time. I heard theres loads of brazzers there and the crack is ninety?" she says....."Only if ye go easy on me mate Decco."...."Sure I`ve been smugglin` him in twenty Woodbines every week for the last 6 months in exchange for a free ride!"...."Jaysus, Ye must be bleedin` mad for sex if yer ridin` that skinny bollix!"...At last me and Decco walk out the front gates of the `Joy as he`s giving the finger to the screws. As we`re walkin` down by the canal, he sez, "Jaysus, I`m gummin` for a fag!"...."Well don`t look at me. I smoked me last Major on the no 10 bus comin` here. Look on the ground for a butt!"...After findin` a butt on the ground, he goes over to this oulwan readin` the Ireland`s Own....."Any chance of a match?"...."Yeah, your face and my arse!"...As we`re walkin` along the North Circular, Decco is tryin` every car to see if there unlocked. "Jaysus Decco! Yer only after gettin` bleedin` out!"....."I can`t bleedin` help it. I just love bleedin` robbin` stuff!"....