Slums of Dublin...Part14 (Peter Marks.)

..Monday morning, I woke up and me noggin was bleedin` spinnin` from all the shandy I had in Noctor`s Pub in Sherriff street last night celebratin` the Dubs` victory in Croker... Ger even got up on the bar and did another strip, but this time all the blue paint was streamin’ down her body (and matched her mascara.)… "Ma, hey Ma!, where`s me wrangler parallels?"...."Will ye shut bleedin` up, I`m tryin` to listen to Marion Finucane on Morning Ireland!" I head into Moore street and see Phil and Mags beside Big Muriel`s stall..."What are ye sellin` today Phil?"...."Teeshirts, and there goin` like bleedin` hotcakes, Here have a look!"....He holds one up to reveal a pair of diddies painted on ...one navy and the other sky blue, and underneath a caption that read ..."Dublin Brazzer 1... Kerry Nil"....It was then I noticed that all the brazzers were wearing them, including Big Muriel, Cross-eyed Eileen, and Mags, and what’s more, the fashion was not to wear a bra for special effect. I even saw two nuns walkin` down Henry street wearin`the teeshirts. "Jaysus, I wish I could meet that brazzer now, I`m bleedin` in love with her", sez Phil. I was about to tell him it was Ger, when I realized mouth-almighty Mags already knew about Susan and Caroline, and she`d really have one on me if she knew about Ger as well. "Here give us one of yer teeshirts for Caroline, I think she`s extra, extra large. I`m goin` to see her in Peter Marks". So off I headed to Peter Marks in Mary Street where Caroline worked as a hairdresser..."Any chance of a free haircut while I`m here, Caroline, I wouldn’t mind a Bowie style...short on top, long on sides?" ..."Here, put yer head back into the sink there `til I wash yer hair!"....and she proceeds to do what she always does to her customers...plop her diddies into me face while she`s pretendin` to wash me hair... “Have ye got yer deposit for the holliers in Butlins?” sez I…”Yeh, I can’t bleedin’ wait, I’m all excireh!”….Off we head to Liffey Travel in Liffey Street to discover that the Butlins package had been sold out…. “Ah4fukSake” sez I to the girl behind the counter… “I’m very sorry but another flyer came into today about a cheap package in Glendalough…Here, have a gander at this!”…..It read thus: For 50 pound only, all-inclusive package in Glendalough, the garden of Ireland, featuring “Deluxe Accommodation (youth hostel) at Lynham’s Pub and Guesthouse. Fine dining (burger and chips) provided by world renowned chef – John Lynham, who graduated from the Chateau de Stew-ah school of cuisine on Mary’s road, East Wall. Personalized tours of the monastic ruins of Glendalough by local historian and tour-guide Aidan Lynham. Customized pints of Guinness with a shamrock design head provided by resident barmaid Brigid Lynham. Live nightly entertainment, featuring international superstar John Aherne. Deluxe coach service (St. Kevin’s bus) leaving from Stephens Green. A free poh-a-tay at Patsy’s Tea house. A free demonstration of turf-cutting by local farmer Eamon Lynham. … “Jaysus, Caroline, that’s bleedin’ magic. Lets go for it!” …. “Bleedin’ right we are!” and she plops down the fifty quid then and there.