Slums of Dublin...Part12 (Finglas Village.)

So there I was standin` outside the Carlton cinema all decked out in me Gary Glitter outfit, with a package of Perri crisps in one hand and a Dunnes Stores plastic bag containing 4 teatowels and a bra in the other, waiting on the Cabra bus, when along comes the mad oulwan with the cross..."How`s yer dingdong luv?"..."Ah it`s grand ever since ye gave me that hand massage outside McDowells, the happy ring house"..."I hope yer goin` to mass every Sunday?"… .."Sure I`m just after coming from the Pro-Cathedral, where I lit a candle for the Dubs. for their big match in Croker on Sunday!" ...."Ah fair bleedin` play to ye. I hate those bleedin` Kerry culchies, and is’nt Brian Mullins a bleedin` hunk?"..."The Jacks are back mam, the Jacks are back."...The bus pulls in at Carnlough road about 7pm.This place is like a bleedin` maze, but finally, I find Jarlath road. The place looks like a bleedin` kip. There’s burnt-out cars and trash all over the place. It looks like Finglas-west, except there`s no horses or cream-crackers. Susan`s little brother Anto, is in the front garden throwin rocks at all the cars going by. (He`s at that awkward age where he doesn’t know whether to wear shorts or longers. He sports a hairstyle with a calfs-lick and wears government-issued corporation specs. At times he comes out with some humdingers.) Today he greets me with..."My da sez Durex`s don`t work!"...Susan comes running out the door..."Hooya! Giz a bleedin` goozer for me birthday. What did ye get me?". I produce the tea-towels and the bra, but her oulwan was more delirah than she was. "That`s grand now, I`ll use the tea-towels to wash the babbies, and I`ll borrow the bra for me night out at the bingo tonight!"....."So SuzyQ, where do you want to go for your birthday?"...."I want to do something mad. How about we go down to the Village and slag some of them Finglas brazzers!"...."Ah4fuksake Suzy, are ye lookin` for a deathwish?"...But it was her birthday, so off we went to the Drake Inn in Finglas Village...Just our luck, Sonny Knowles (The window cleaner) was playing, so every bleedin` brazzer from the west was there, shoutin` up at the stage..."Sonny, Give us a wave!". The night was goin` great until Sonny said "Is there anybody out there celebratin` their birthday tonight?" Before I could stop her, Susan was up on the table wavin` madly at Sonny. He coaxes her up onto the stage and said to her, "Where are ye from?"...."Cabra!"...and before Sonny could reply a barage of vodka glasses came hurling through the air. One particular brazzer called Gina stood up....,She had teeth like traffic -lights down the country(few and far between). She wore a skimpy haltertop that precariously held two giant melons which poured out over the top, and the cleavage sported a tatoo on each diddy of M.U.F.C. on the left and I luv Georgie Best on the right. She wore a pair of hotpants two sizes to tight so that they revealed the wrinkles on her buttocks. But the 3 inch heels on her platforms gave an eloquent balance to her rotund figure..."Heeeyawww, ye bleedin` Cabra wagon, what are ye doing trespassin` into our village"?...."Ah shur`up ye fat cow, yer oulwan sells bangers in Moore street!"...."I`m goin` to sit on yer face ye cabra brazzer!"...With that she hurtles towards the stage, but trips over her 3inch platforms and falls square on poor Sonny. I lay low through all this commotion.(I was a great man for lying down under punches.) Susan poured her harp shandy all over Gina and then made a runner out the door with half of Finglas in pursuit. There were tears of pride streaming down my face....That was my Susan!...A true Dublin Brazzer if there ever was one....