Slums of Dublin...Part19 (Deco! Dunne's Stores Detective.)

"Ma!, hey ma!, where`s me Top-of-the-Pops LP?"..."Will ye shut bleedin` up, I`m reading True Detective!"..."Ah jaysus Ma! I need it for a party in Deco`s house tonight."..."Wha! that snobby bitch of an oulwan of his wouldn’t let anyone inside her door!"...."Deco`s ma is going on a retreat to Lough Derg with the Legion of Mary, and he has an empty house!"...."Lough-bleedin`-Derg! She should be locked bleedin` up , scallywaggin` all over O`Connell street, with her cross and rosary beads, annoyin` us poor bleedin` brazzers with her God-fearin` ways!"...I arrive in Moore Street with the pram full of fruit and veg from the Smithfield markets to find Deco, Monica, Phil, and Mags hangin` out by Big Muriel and Cross-eyed-Eileen`s stalls....They were all celebrating Deco`s new Store Detective job at Dunnes Stores, when Monica suggests to all the other brazzers, "Any chance yis`ll let Deco practice on yis for his new job?" So Deco lines all the brazzers up against F.X. Buckleys Butchers and sez, "Put yisser hands against the wall and spread yisser legs girls, someone has rifled the hosiery department of ten playtex bras and walked out without paying!"...Deco starts with Big Muriel and works his way down the line through Cross-Eyed-Eileen, Mags, and Monica, makin` sure to take his time friskin` all the girls. As he is rummaging through Mag`s blouse, he notices she`s not wearing a bra, and spends extra time frisking her.(And she`s lovin` every bleedin` minute of it!). He found a bag full of jewellery with the tags still on them saying Lawrence`s Jewellers. ..."Jaysus! Talk about being over-enthusiastic about the job, he`ll make a great bleedin` security guard, That’s my Deco!!" sez Monica..."Listen girls, yis are all invited back to me gaff for a jam-tarty tonight, but make sure yis are wearin` yer knickers, cause I`m on the door, and I`ll be friskin` all the brazzers!" sez Deco...."Hey Deco!, Here`s the LP you were asking me for. It`s bleedin` magic. It`s got Slade, Suzy Quattro, David Essex, and Mud(Tiger Feet). We`ll be boppin` the night away!". sez I..... Then I head down Henry Street to Peter Marks Hairdressers, to meet Caroline for lunch...As I`m waitin` for Caroline, she`s puttin` curlers in some oulwan`s hair, and showin` a new trainee hairdresser the ropes.... "Jaysus! What’s yer wan`s name, she`s a bit of bleedin` alright?" sez I(as I notice the new mot givin` me the eye!)... "Her name is Sally, and I`m her new boss, she does whatever I bleedin` tell her!...Heeyah Sally, there`s a bleedin` brush. Sweep up all the hair on the ground!"..."I luv bleedin` bossin` her around!" whispers Caroline....