Slums of Dublin...Part3 (Apartment Disco)

Around the corner we went, onto Fleet lane and into the Apartment Disco. We just got in the door when who did I spot only Phil and Mags..."Holy St. Hanna" I said to meself, I hope Mags doesn’t open her gob about last night. If Caroline finds out about Sue, I’m a gonner... I gave Phil a nudge and he copped on straight away, but Mags was dying to open her gob(the nosey bitch). "Hey Caroline, this is me mate Phil and his mot Mags"..."Hoooya!"...."Hey Caroline, do ye want te go to the toilet?" sez Mags..and off the two of them go...(Now there are two things in life that have always baffled me... one was where the bleedin` ducks went in the winter (Catcher in the Rye) and the other was why do women always go to the jax in pairs...Do they need to hold each others hands?). So we were rockin away to the disco sounds of "Rock the Boat" by Hues Corporation, and Rock me Gently" by Andy Kim, and "Rock your Baby" by George McCrae, when Noel the deejay puts on "Satisfaction" by the Stones. In a flash a circle forms and I barrel in to do "Jagger". Then Mags jumps into the circle after me kickin` her legs so high, that her Dunne’s Stores (St. Bernard brand) knickers were showin. Then Phil and Caroline join in and we are all sweatin like bleedin` pigs. Then Noel the Deejay sez "We’re going to slow it down now nice in slow with "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro"...Before I could say no, Mags grabs me and sez "Are ye gettin up!". So we were smoochin` away when I noticed her Magie Noir perfume smelled very very familiar..."Jayz Mags, ye smell like a whore`s handbag"..."Well ye bleedin` loved it last night didn’t ye" she said. "Mother of Divine" I thought to meself, now I remember... and she’s still wearin the same bleedin knickers...."If you say anything to Caroline about Sue, I’ll bleedin` string ye up."...Then Noelput on "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight and the Pips, and I started to smooch with Caroline. Well between dancing real close and all the sweat from doing Jagger, I got the "excitement" (Angela’s Ashes)..."Hey Caroline, do ye want to go outside for a quickie."...She looked up at me with those doting blue eyes and nodded approval...So went outside around the corner onto Fleet Street..."Just think Caroline, in another two years when we’re 18, we’ll be able to go there to Sloopys Nightclub (Does anybody remember the ad at the pictures where a cool guy comes out of Sloopys and jumps into a convertible?)...We headed across Westmoreland street to the little archway underneath the "Zhivago`s Nightclub" sign (where love stories begin!). Caroline stood with her back up against the wall. In this light she looked like Maxie, Dick, and Twink all rolled into one...simply adorable. I gently pushed back her soft curls and nibbled on her ear. Then I threw my head back to get a look at cherub cheeks. I could see my saliva glint in the moonlight on her earlobe. She looked at me with loving anticipation. Our lips were about to meet when suddenly, this beautiful tender moment was... SHATTERED...by a raspy voice that wafted from across WestMoreland Street. "Did ye get yer ware" shouted Mags (I could’ve killed her, the bleedin` wagon. Ye just know there’s going to be a big bleedin` catfight between Susan, Caroline, and Ger when they find out about each other,(and I can’t trust "mouth almighty" Mags to keep her trap shut, and I don’t want this to happen cause I bleedin love yis all. I was walkin` down by College Green and bump into those guys in the suits from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and they convert me to the Mormon religion. Then I can have a bigamous relationship with all three of you,(although I can’t see Sue and Caroline living under the same roof). Or 2. I could forget about the bleedin` lot of youse and just elope with Mrs. O`Kelly (Gok`s Ma). I know she has the "hots" for me `cause once when I was in the flat in Sheriffer, Ger was in the jax gettin` dolled up when I noticed the bedroom door ajar. I sneaked a peek at Mrs. O`K undressing and she turned around and flashed her diddies at me...I was bleedin` scarlet....